How Do I Deal with Overly Competitive Parents or Bad Sportsmanship in Wrestling?

Wrestling is a sport built on discipline, respect, and personal growth. From the opening whistle to the final handshake, young wrestlers are taught to carry themselves with humility—whether they win or lose. But sometimes, the tension of competition can bring out bad behavior from the sidelines, especially from other parents. If you’ve ever witnessed shouting in the stands, disrespectful comments toward referees, or poor sportsmanship after a match, you’re not alone.

As a parent, it can be uncomfortable and even discouraging to deal with overly competitive adults or unsportsmanlike behavior during an event meant to support and encourage kids. So how do you handle it while still keeping your focus on your child’s growth and enjoyment?

In this blog, we’ll walk through some practical, respectful ways to deal with poor sideline behavior—and how to model the kind of sportsmanship we want our children to learn from wrestling.

1. Focus on Your Own Behavior First

The best way to respond to poor behavior is to make sure you’re setting a good example yourself. Even when emotions run high, stay calm, respectful, and composed. Cheer for effort, not just results. Encourage both your child and their opponent. Thank the referees and coaches.

When your child sees you modeling good behavior, they learn that character matters more than winning, and that the mat is a place for growth—not drama.

If your child hears negative comments or sees bad behavior, use it as a teaching moment:

• “That’s not how we act in our family.”

• “Everyone gets frustrated sometimes, but we show respect no matter what.”

• “Let’s focus on what we can control—how you wrestle and how you carry yourself.”

2. Don’t Engage With Disruptive Parents

If another parent is being overly competitive, yelling at kids, arguing with coaches, or blaming officials, the best course of action is to not engage directly. Arguing with them rarely helps and often makes the situation worse.

Instead, try to move away if possible, or create space between your family and the source of the tension. Wrestling tournaments are emotionally charged environments, and sometimes the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation altogether.

Remember: your goal is to protect your child’s experience, not win a sideline argument.

3. Support Your Coaches and Officials

Referees and coaches have tough jobs. They deal with hundreds of matches, keep the event moving, and are often volunteers or part-time workers. If you see a parent disrespecting a referee or coach, it can help to offer quiet support.

A simple “thank you” or a calm nod of appreciation after a tough call shows your child—and those around you—that respect matters.

And if you ever disagree with a decision or notice an issue, bring it up calmly and privately with a coach after the match—not during the event.

4. Report Repeated or Serious Misconduct

If a parent’s behavior crosses the line—whether it’s yelling at kids, using profanity, or threatening others—it’s important to report it. Most tournaments have a head coach, tournament director, or facility manager you can quietly approach. Let them know what happened and allow them to handle it professionally.

Your report may help prevent further issues and keep the tournament safe and positive for everyone.

5. Build Relationships With Positive Families

One of the best ways to guard against negativity is to surround yourself with like-minded families. Seek out other parents who are positive, encouraging, and there for the right reasons.

Forming friendships with other supportive families helps you:

• Enjoy tournament days more

• Share rides, snacks, or advice

• Cheer for each other’s kids

• Create a stronger team culture

When your child sees families united by respect and encouragement, it helps shape the kind of athlete—and person—they grow up to be.

6. Recenter on What Wrestling Is All About

At the heart of wrestling is the idea that growth matters more than medals. The lessons learned in a tough loss, a hard practice, or a close match are far more valuable than any trophy.

If you find yourself or others slipping into “win-at-all-costs” thinking, take a step back and ask:

• Is this helping my child grow?

• Am I teaching them how to handle both victory and defeat?

• Are we honoring the sport and the people who make it possible?

Wrestling should be a place where kids build confidence, character, and community—not fear or ego.

Keep the Focus Where It Belongs

Dealing with overly competitive parents or bad sportsmanship can be frustrating—but it doesn’t have to ruin your experience or your child’s love for the sport. By staying calm, leading by example, and supporting those who uphold the values of wrestling, you help create a better environment for everyone.

At the end of the day, it’s not the loudest voice in the stands that matters. It’s the quiet strength your child learns every time they step on the mat, shake hands, and give their best—win or lose. And that strength starts with you.